Somebody will wish for something, starting the phrase with "I wish", Like; "I wish for world peace"

And somebody will transform that wish in something terrible and make their wish, starting the phrase with "Granted", Like:

"Granted, Everyone is dead"

"I wish I could have a PS4"

-"Granted, But you can only play free games"

-" I wish to understand every language"

And so on. I'll start:

I wish I could get another Red Bull, I'm exhausted. 

I will feel terrible if he doesnt, omg. And he feels a lot better now after his nap, thankfully. 

Granted, because you get kicked out of your program instead. :(

I wish the air quality would improve

(im so glad to hear it!)

granted, now the water quality has declined.

i wish i was home

Granted, but it's an absolute mess.

I wish my child could decide on a movie to watch.

Granted, it's the most painfully irritating kids movie you've ever seen in your life.

I wish my house was tidy.

Granted, but now all of your dishes are stuck in the cupboards!

I wish I wasn't so tired!

Granted, now you're wide awake and can't sleep for three days.

I wish my headache would leave me alooooneeeeee

It did, but now your toes fell off.

I wish my board would stop increasing. (seriously, went from $550 this month to $1k/month with no warning)

(That SUCKS, wth?!)

Granted, now your feed costs increase 10x

I wish my day was over.

Your day is over but tomorrow is just a replay of today.

I wish I had more oatmeal.

Granted, but it's all be spoiled.

I wish my sister's horse would have a sound summer. (He goes lame every summer in May and we still can't figure out why after 3 summers, multiple vet visits and taking him to a equine hospital so they can help figure out what is wrong with him)

Granted, but now every Summer he grows huge curled horns that drop off every Winter. (idk sorry)

I wish this gorgeous spring weather would last longer than a a couple days! 

Granted, however, the winter will be ten times worse.

I wish for a vacation soon.

Granted, but it rains or snows the entire time. 

I wish that I knew what I wanted to do with my life when I grow up! 

granted, but its not a fun job at all.

I wish I could stop aging.

Granted, but the magic backfires and you go all Benjamin Button and start de-aging!

I wish that the UK would have spring weather all year round.

Granted, but eternal spring also means no Christmas.

I wish I could sleep in every day.

Granted, but your bed is made of rocks, you have no sheets and your duvet is made of nettles. 

I wish my apartment wasn't so hot!

Granted - the AC is now working overtime and you have to dig out your winter clothes.

I wish it wasn't too late in the day to grab a coffee. 

Granted, now it never gets late. You always feel like you just woke up.

I wish dinner would cook itself.

Granted - global warming picks up, everything is always cooked... All the time..

I wish I had more icecream!