Somebody will wish for something, starting the phrase with "I wish", Like; "I wish for world peace"

And somebody will transform that wish in something terrible and make their wish, starting the phrase with "Granted", Like:

"Granted, Everyone is dead"

"I wish I could have a PS4"

-"Granted, But you can only play free games"

-" I wish to understand every language"

And so on. I'll start:

I wish I could get another Red Bull, I'm exhausted. 

Granted, but you won't be able to sleep for the next month.

I wish my work day was OVER

Granted! Now it's the start of your next work day. :)

I wish my lunch would prepare itself.

That was evil Jaya AHAHAH.

Granted! But its all the foods you hate.

I wish I didn't need sleep to function.

“Life is short but also like terribly and insufferably long at the same time.” - Jenna Marbles

Granted, but you need so much food to function you don't have time to do anything but eat!

I wish I could catch a break.

Granted, but it is only for a shirt while

I wish I could stop eating crap food for lunch

Granted, but now you eat crap food for breakfast instead.

I wish it would rain.

Granted, but all of the clouds have turned purple and are hiding.

I wish it wasn't so windy today 

Granted but without the wind it gets terribly hot. 

I wish this 3 hour drive would go by faster!

Granted, but the store is closed when you get there.

I wish my food would cook faster.

Granted, but then it burns.

I wish my kids were asleep.

Granted, but now you can't.

I wish I could warm up!

Granted, but now you have a fever.

I wish my headache would go away

Granted, but the meds that finally worked, resulted in hair loss. aka -- you're bald.

I wish my huskies would stop shedding.

Granted, but you shed instead.

I wish I could have a good night's sleep.

Granted, but your children have nightmares.

I wish that my house would clean itself.

Granted, it removes all your furniture in the process.

I wish my husband would clean the house.

Granted, but he does everything wrong. 

I wish my fish tank would clean itself.

Granted but now your house is a mess.

I wish I could read twice as fast as I do.

“Life is short but also like terribly and insufferably long at the same time.” - Jenna Marbles

Granted, but you slowly start to go blind.

I wish I was a better cook.

Granted, but now you are terrible at typing/writing.

I wish my husband would get over the flu already.