Somebody will wish for something, starting the phrase with "I wish", Like; "I wish for world peace"

And somebody will transform that wish in something terrible and make their wish, starting the phrase with "Granted", Like:

"Granted, Everyone is dead"

"I wish I could have a PS4"

-"Granted, But you can only play free games"

-" I wish to understand every language"

And so on. I'll start:

I wish I could get another Red Bull, I'm exhausted. 

Granted but you have nothing but bad luck 

I wish someone would make me a roast dinner 

Granted, but it's made at 3am and you have to eat it then.

I wish I could have another hour of sleep

I'm not sure if that would bother me or not lol

granted but you feel worse for it

I wish I had more time in my days 

Granted, but you age quicker (uhh helllooo wrinkles!!)

I wish my hair would stop being itchy

Granted but the bottom of your feet itch constantly instead

i wish I had more fruit trees

Granted, but they all got a poision fungus and fruit is not edible.

I wish the flies would go away.

granted but they're replaced with huge hungry spiders everywhere

i wish I had a week off work 

Granted but you lost 2 weeks paycheck

I wish I didn't have to stand in the shower XD

Granted but it's now a cold bath

I wish I had a better eye for decorating 

Granted, but now you can't stop decorating and you're in a never ending spiral of home decor.

I wish I had a miracle oven that always knew what I wanted and cooked it for me.

Granted... but it overcooks everything it makes

I wish I had a robot to fully decorate my house how I want for me

Granted but it's in cat shit green color.

I wish I could work without working -- well make money without working.

Granted but you can't spend a penny of it 

I wish I had a nicer car 

granted, but gas costs $50 a day

I wish I had free rent on my apartment 

Granted but it's worse than camping

i wish I wasn't so soft with homeless stray animals 

granted, but now they come and poo on your doorstep as revenge for you turning them away

i wish i didn't have to work but still got paid

Granted but your bills are so high you only just break even

I wish I could fly 

Granted, but you live underwater.

I wish everyone would get along peacefully. 

Granted but you never get any peace as everyone is too friendly and nice

I wish my apple tree had more apples on it 

granted, but they taste horrible.

i wish i had the ability to summon any snack with the snap of my fingers.