Somebody will wish for something, starting the phrase with "I wish", Like; "I wish for world peace"

And somebody will transform that wish in something terrible and make their wish, starting the phrase with "Granted", Like:

"Granted, Everyone is dead"

"I wish I could have a PS4"

-"Granted, But you can only play free games"

-" I wish to understand every language"

And so on. I'll start:

I wish I could get another Red Bull, I'm exhausted. 

Granted, but due to global warming it's contsantly melted into a puddle

I wish I had a million dollars

Granted, but your bills are over a million dollars.

I wish my kids would shut up

granted, they are now mute

i wish i could get a raise at work

Granted but you could never leave that job

I wish I owned a horse!

Granted, but it is so incredibly feral you can't interact with it at all.

I wish I had more patience.

You are so patient but cant get anything done.

I wish I didnt have to work

Granted! Your work place exploded in a firey ball of doom, so you don't have to go there again!

I wish I had like 10k more forum posts

granted, but now every time you post, your count goes down

I wish I could rewind time

Granted, but you can only go back 200 years at a time.

I wish I could get comfy

Granted, but every time you do your kids start screaming

I wish i could sleep

Granted but you have bad dreams all night 

I wish groceries were cheaper!

Granted, but now the nutrition of them is half of what they were.

I wish I had a week off of work

Granted, but you lose two week's worth of pay.

I wish my salad tasted better

granted, but your next meal will be horrible.

I wish sleep wasn't nessesary 

granted, but you'll become sleep deprived. 

I wish I would get more graphic orders. 

Granted, but now you can't keep up and people get mad at you.

I wish I could get used to this new laptop!

Granted, but now it never turns off. 

I wish that I could be better at making graphics! 

Granted but you never are able to finish a piece.

I wish I could teleport

Granted, but you don't get to pick where you end up.

I wish my washing machine was fixed

granted, but your dryer goes down next.

I wish life could be longer