Somebody will wish for something, starting the phrase with "I wish", Like; "I wish for world peace"

And somebody will transform that wish in something terrible and make their wish, starting the phrase with "Granted", Like:

"Granted, Everyone is dead"

"I wish I could have a PS4"

-"Granted, But you can only play free games"

-" I wish to understand every language"

And so on. I'll start:

I wish I could get another Red Bull, I'm exhausted. 

Bump

- Granted, but you can't drink it.

I wish I could win the lottery.

(Did I do this right?)

(Yes. :D)

Granted, but all winnings are automatically donated to a pre-determined charity - you get none. 

I wish I could take a nap! 

Granted, but you wake up feeling like you didn't sleep at all.

I wish someone would come mow my grass.

Granted, a bunch of goats magically invade your garden and eat the grass... and the bushes... and the flowers... 

I wish I had some icecream.

Granted, but it curdles every time you take a bite.

I wish it was Friday at 5pm :)

Granted, but you have to work for the next 10 days straight. 

I wish it was bright and sunny outside. 

Granted, but you have been called in for an overtime shift in the office with a broken AC.

I wish I could go for a horseride.

Granted, but the horse you have to ride is a green 3 year old, so you are tense and on your toes the entire ride!

I wish I could stop drinking soda. 

Granted, you can't drink any fluids now!

I wish I could call out of work tomorrow.

“Life is short but also like terribly and insufferably long at the same time.” - Jenna Marbles

Granted, but you have to work the weekend. 

I wish I could sleep in tomorrow 

Rosa is awesome, Rosa is fine, Rosa didn't write this...

Granted, but you're not going to be able to sleep the next two nights.

I wish I could have some sushi..

Granted, but it had bugs in it!

I wish my shoulder would stop hurting!

Granted, but now your back starts hurting. 

I wish I had a new job. 

Granted, you now exclusively empty gasto patient's bedpans at the local hospital.

I wish I could get my university assessment finished.

Granted but you only got C-s

I wish I could finish this dissertation 

Rosa is awesome, Rosa is fine, Rosa didn't write this...

Granted, but the professor exclaims your writing skills are appalling.

(I had to google two things in this sentence... :D)

I wish I could visit my friends in Norfolk this year. 

Granted, but it storms the entire time and you're stuck in their home and you all get sick of each other.

I wish I had more energy today.

Granted, but you are stuck in a small box all day.

I wish  my hair would grow faster.

Granted, but your car is out out gas. 
I wish it wasn't so hot outside.