This is a fun little game that me and some of my friends play occasion. It all started when I was talking about my horse and someone thought I was talking about my husband. This stranger was appalled that I would say this about another human.

The way it works is you just post something you would say about your pet or to your pet that if someone heard it without context they would turn their head. I know with my friend group some of these get funny. It is totally okay to post context.

I'll start.

" Don't worry, I will have him sedated when you get here so he should be pretty amicable."

"She loves being spanked" (now past tense). My late cat Pickle, loved me spanking her butt, at the base of her tail.

" chop some of that toe off and she might walk a hell of a lot better."

Talking about my mother-in-law's minis who are now my minis. And those toes are getting chopped off.

"Your ears stink!" 

"Your fluffy butt is my favorite"

'Oooh you like those booty scratches'.. to Berli when I scratch the base of his tail/lower back and his booty is in the air. 

"Stop licking your peepee in public! That's a private thing!"

He's a bit on the chunky side but we can fix that 

I'd rather have them a little chunky than a little too skinny.

Drop it! If you don't I'm going to have to force you to 

You a stinky boy 

Neutering could help with those unwanted behaviours 

^^ but I do saythat about people XD

You just have to hold him down while we shove it in for a second. (temp!)

He's playing with himself in the mirror....

lets stick a muzzle on and we'll get it over with ASAP

You gotta brush him more often so he doesn't get sore and matted 

Teach him commands and stop trying to reason with him, he doesn't think that way. 

He curls up so cute when he sleeps.